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\\CLICK IF YOU WANT TO READ ABOUT MY LIFE BEFORE 13JULY08//
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* HONG KONG TRIP 2006
* REDANG ISLAND TRIP 2007
* KL TRIP 2007
* SHANGHAI TRIP 2007
* BANGKOK TRIP 2007
* HONG KONG TRIP 2008
* TAIPEI TRIP 2008
* GENTING TRIP 2008
* BATAM TRIP 2008
For the whole of my life till now, the worst part, saddest part of my life, that i have never ever experience it before, and never want to experience it at all, I actually experience it on 8th and 12th of april, year 2009.My dearest grandmother passed away on the 8th april 2009. Everything happened too fast, too sudden, too unexpectedly, that I could not accept the fact at all till now. Yes she's already old and old ppl have to go eventually, but i really did not expect it to be on that day. All along, most of the time, she's staying with my aunt in johor. During January 2009, she complained that she is not feeling well, keep feeling breathless all the time, and we brought her back to singapore. On the day she's back to singapore, she's so pale and almost died that we sent her to SGH immediately. She almost lost her life, but i have a really strong grandmother, she pulled through. She got discharge just 2 days before Chinese New Year, though not able to be with us to house visiting because she's on recovery process at our house but at least we are able to have our reunion dinner together..but i didnt know that was the last one. Ever since she's discharged, I bathed her, Mummy cooked for her, Daddy took care of her, Sisters chat with her..we did everything for her..those days was tiring but was really glad cause we did our part to do the best to make her comfortable and recovering. Soon, she got better, can even walk slowly, walk along the corrider with the walking stick that I bought for her in Shanghai 2007.But the fact is cruel, for the first check up appointment with SGH, she's suspected of having leukemia. Since then, she's getting weaker, as her red blood cells were getting lesser each day. She's too old for bone marrow check or transfer. So all we can do, is to have blood transfusion for her. The first transfusion can last her for 3 weeks, she's able to be more energetic, stronger for 3 weeks. Then have to go for the second time transfusion on 27th march 2009. But this time can only last for 1 week. On 4th april, in the morning, she's still able to walk with my help, talk a little though really weak, but out of a sudden, in the afternoon, she's so sick and weak that she cant walk anymore, cant talk anymore, and worst, she cant even sit up. Everything happened too sudden and fast, during midnight, she's feeling terrible, we called for ambulance to send her to the hospital. And other than leukemia, she was suspected to have internal bleeding. I hate this world, fucking cruel to an old and kind woman like her. The 3 days stay in hospital, her condition changed from bad to worst. Why and how can things happened so fast. It's only 3 days, I dont have any preparation for it at all. After blood transfusion, she can speak a little on the monday morning to me, telling me she's dying soon. I dont believe and never want to believe cause never want it to happen either. All i can do is to tell her dont think so much, I stayed by her side everyday in the hospital.On 7th april, she's getting really bad, we all cried and cried, she loves my aunt the most. My aunt rush out from johor, no matter how weak she is, she just want to turn her head to the door to look out for her. After aunt turned up, grandmother becomes so much better. Past midnight, so was actually 8th april already, we all got so relieved, and went home, and to be safe, my uncle stayed by her side and take care of her. The moment everyone reached home, uncle called and said she couldnt make it..we all rushed down again, but she didnt wait for any of us..half way there, she's gone already. The last look of her, lying down, no longer move..i can remember clearly, exactly until now. She's really no longer breathing. The moment, i can never forget for the rest of my life. She'd slim down so much so much. Panting, breathing so hardly that she went off with her mouth opened. Im so in pain. I dont want it this way. I dont want but..i no longer can change anything.The funeral, the 5days was terrible, standing beside her coffin, looking in to see her this way. Telling her to have her meals have to add on with another incense. 12th April is the worst and the worst, to sent her off, to see her coffin going into a fire, and never see her out again. I dont want to say more about this part, cause it's really too painful for me to think of it. I only knows, i no longer can have her by my side. Went to pick up her bones on monday morning, she's staying in mandai now..We will be moving ah gong's to stay with her soon. Wonder if she found ah gong yet..they finally can reunite after 20 years. I know ah gong will definitely take great care of her from now onwards. Though not proven, but i really feel it, yesterday grandma's 7th day, i know she's back with us. I really feel it. But right now, i dont know where she is, but i know she already went off with cow head horse face (niu tou ma mian)..I know, i really know, and i got to accept, she's really gone for good. But till now, im still not able to cheer up, i may laugh may smile may enjoy, but i know, all the smile, all the laughters, all the enjoyment, could not cover up my sadness. The depressing feeling, is something no one can understand, it's beyond imagination. Ah por, i really miss you so much so much, and i want you to be back so much. Can all these be just a dream?
SWEET LIL MOMENTS;
BECAUSE OF YOU AND ME;
I'M MEIQI, THE HAPPY ONE(: